Health and Wellbeing… What Happened??

This post is a hard one to write.

I have been in such an awful place since September. Having a seizure and ending up in hospital and temporarily losing my ability to speak has really affected me.

I have suffered with depression for some time, About 14 years or so. But these last 6 months have been awful. I hate who I am and what happens to me, The more stressed or upset I get the more my brain seems to shut down on me and it’s the scariest thing I have ever been through. A Neurologist believes I am now suffering with Migraines as a result of the seizure and I’m finally now on Beta Blockers. I had a Blood Test in January, the message I got back said that the test was ‘fine’ but Thursday on my way to work I collapsed. I went dizzy and I was gone. The first time this has happened, I was on my own and I was scared. so No work and off to the Doctor’s. The Doctor informed me my Folic Acid levels are low which he established from the test in January.

The main reason for everything I have been doing this last year is not to be skinny but to be healthy and I feel like my body and my mind is giving up on me. I’m scared and Don’t know what to do. I’m trying to eat right but I’ve taken a step back from the gym as I’m so scared to be there and for something to happen and I get hurt or worse hurt someone else.

Part of me thinks that the Doctor’s aren’t taking me seriously but I can only go by their professional opinions on what is wrong with me. Everything is linked to the seizure and I’ve always been good with words and thoughts and now I’m  not… I’m not me.

All I want to do is cry and no one knows…
How can I tell people that I want to cry because my mind feels broken? There are people going through worse, this could be temporary…. but it might not be.

What can I do??

This is not an April Fool…

So here I am updating my blog for the first time in over 2 months (as it was pointed out to me… sorry 😦 )

So what’s been happening? I’ve been working long days and experiencing some issues that I believed were resulted in my hospital stay in September.

I’ve been going to WW meetings, actually being weighed by other people is scary, but I’m going, and still going, I had a few slip ups and I think that was stress, so in all I’ve lost 3lbs in the last 6 weeks,  I know it isn’t much but it’s something.

I saw my neurologist on Wednesday who thinks I’m suffering migraines which is causing all the issues i’m having so, i’m being put on medication for that. I’m so relieved. I can finally put my mind at rest.

So… This is just a quick update to say I am still here and still working on things.

And to celebrate spring… “Bikini body here I come” hahaha

🙂