This is not an April Fool…

So here I am updating my blog for the first time in over 2 months (as it was pointed out to me… sorry 😦 )

So what’s been happening? I’ve been working long days and experiencing some issues that I believed were resulted in my hospital stay in September.

I’ve been going to WW meetings, actually being weighed by other people is scary, but I’m going, and still going, I had a few slip ups and I think that was stress, so in all I’ve lost 3lbs in the last 6 weeks,  I know it isn’t much but it’s something.

I saw my neurologist on Wednesday who thinks I’m suffering migraines which is causing all the issues i’m having so, i’m being put on medication for that. I’m so relieved. I can finally put my mind at rest.

So… This is just a quick update to say I am still here and still working on things.

And to celebrate spring… “Bikini body here I come” hahaha

🙂

I’m getting there Slowly…

Slowly but surely I am getting there, I have lost 5lbs since coming out of hospital, it isn’t a lot but it’s coming down and that’s the main thing.

Being out of work is causing me far more stress and has made me far more depressed that I thought it would. I’ve cancelled my gym membership as I can no longer afford it but I have been trying to get out and run and as it gets colder the want and need to stay inside in the warm is ever increasing. but I keep trying, and the craving for chocolate has started to dwindle, Diet back on track, Exercise back on track and I’ll get there.

I’m not giving up. I refuse to give up. I’ve come too far to give up now.

wouldn’t say no to having someone nag me right now…

BUT I am getting there… Slowly….

What the Hell Happened?!?

So It was the 15th July the last time I was here. I said it would be 11 days to my next update After I got back from the homeland, Well It looks like I’m a big fat liar as here I am 65 days later.

Let’s cut to the chase, my week off was AWFUL, completely terrible, It’s a very long complicated story between my best friend and her now ex and her new bf… long story short, at the time of my birthday they had been split a matter of weeks, she was already seeing someone new and her and her ex were still living under the same roof… In order for me to get on with new bf my best friend had him there THE WHOLE time, I got like zero time to spend with her. Her new bf is a massive Douche, so being around him all the time stressed me out, out came the chocolate, crisps, cake and god knows whatever else. just another thing I cannot seem to switch off. But the highlight of the week was going out for dinner with an awesome friend. He even treated me for my birthday which was sweet. We went to a very nice pizza place, it was a Subway for Pizza haha. it was very nice and it was really nice to see him again, just a shame it wasn’t for long. That night I met up with some friends, went to a club and drank stupid amounts. Went out for a posh lunch the next day and by the time I got home I was scared to step on scales, I was scared to do anything and that included coming on here. I felt like I had failed myself AGAIN!!

What does any sane person do when they feel like a failure? yes, they hide. so that is what I did. Up until a couple weeks ago….

I decided I had had enough of hiding and avoiding what I was doing to myself, I stepped on the scales, I had put on 10lbs, that put me up to 295lbs. I wanted to cry and hide but then I had to remind myself, It could have been far far worse, I could be back to the 329lbs where I had started but I wasn’t. it was 10lbs and that is easy to control. I picked up my running shoes and headed down the beach, 3 times a week and got my lap down from 55min to 45min. I’m proud of that. the food side of things still need some work but I haven’t weighed myself since…

I am currently facing a massive hiccup which my help me food wise in the long run but I ended up being taken into hospital on the 5th September, Apparently I had a seizure, I say apparently because Mentally I wasn’t there… I woke up on the floor of a cafe then in an Ambulance and then again at the hospital. I lost my ability to form words which has been pretty scary at times but I’m getting there, speech is almost back to normal and I get to go home on Tuesday after 2 weeks. This set back has caused an issue for work, I was due to start at my new job on the 12th September but they have deferred it til November as I was ill. It was nice that they deferred but I am now income-less for 2 months… no gym! but on the upside I can now focus on myself, get my health back on track without having to worry about fitting it all around work for the time being.

So I think that pretty much covers it…

No more Hiding!!!

No stats week…

I’ve decided not to add my Fitbit stats this week, mainly because they are AWFUL! I had a really bad week, mostly due to the weather. When you have to walk everywhere you hate turning up to places soaked, so lack of gym, lifts to or from work has made hitting my goal harder. So this week is a fresh, it’s not been the best of starts but I think I have averaged out some stuff plus Saturday I’m travelling back to the homeland *YAY*

I do have some news to share, I was at work the other day and someone who had been on holiday for a week came back and she looked at me and said those wonderful words all of us on this journey get so excited to hear…

“wow, have you lost weight?”

I ended up grinning from ear to ear and I loved it!! A long with all you lovely people that can see a difference in my pictures, it’s a proper boost builder and lets me know that just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

If I get a chance I shall update on Saturday after weigh in (which I’m not expecting to be great this week after Family meals most of the week) otherwise It’ll be a very long update in about 11 days 🙂

Have a lovely Friday ❤

I went to the Gym, why am I not skinny yet??

CRISIS!

I’m struggling to get to the gym, I hate my job and it’s all crashing around me, still waiting for a start date on my new job and that’s kinda getting me down. All I want to do is shove my face inn a massive bowl of chocolate and only resurface for air…

BUT I WON’T!

I’ve come too far to go back now. I keep telling myself;

If Losing Weight Was Easy, Everybody Would Do It. 

I don’t want to give up, I want to keep going. I enjoy what is happening to my body and I want to be fit and healthy. Some days it feels as though it doesn’t matter what I do, it isn’t enough. I’ve lost 2 stone, which is incredible (especially for me) but There is still another 10 stone to go…

It will not happen over night, but I need something now, a new dress size, a nice comment… just something!

This is going to be a long one…

Aloha! 

So here I am on the 26th June 2016 and having hit yet another brick wall when it comes to weight loss, yes last weekend was a bit rubbish having friends over which included a Chinese on Friday night, Chip shop at the beach and Harvester for dinner Saturday, Cooked breakfast and Ice cream at a different beach on the Sunday. Having friends come and visit is awesome. just not for my diet so much!

I made an awesome purchase the other week on a recommendation from my sister. The WW journals are good but they take a bit much to fill in… they are quite thick and heavy but she found something better, a diary by Fox and Moon. They do diet friendly diary’s, Suitable for WeightWatchers and Slimming World too.

This is mine…

IMG_20160614_182334 I got it on Sale, It made me giggle.

It makes meal planning easier with a space for a shopping list also. I’ve since found other people that do similar diary’s so a quick google search could point you in the right direction…

Yesterday I did this;

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I’ve planned my meals and points for everyday and then went shopping and got everything I was missing. Today I am having a Chicken and Veg soup and French Stick for dinner at a wonderful total of 11 points 🙂 (winning) Lunch didn’t go to plan today though, we got stuck in the Swansea city centre because of the diversions in place for the Swansea Half Marathon. So ended up having to eat in town which gave me a 25point lunch instead of 17. BUT I did leave myself 18 extra points to use today before having to go into weeklies.

Exercise wise I have been doing well. I’ve been at the gym and my steps have been pretty good too. I’m thinking about upping my step goal to 11,000 instead of 10,000 and then maybe every month or 2 up it by another 500 as I am averaging 11,500 at the moment.

Working 6 days last week has really messed up my mood. unfortunately I’m doing it again this week and I’m unsure I’ll be able to cope. Today is my day off. I kinda promised myself I would go to the gym but it is now 16:30, the gym shuts in 3 hours and I’m watching The Blacklist with no intention of moving. but I honestly think I need a day to rest, a day of nothing. Sounds stupid I know but I honestly just want to sleep all day, So I imagine even if I did make it to the gym today I would easily give up and not do much. I think it is a matter of balance, for my 1 day off in the middle of 13 days of work I think I just need to do nothing. I kind of regroup day? does that make sense? have I just waffled on about nothing for the last 5 minutes and just making up excuses?

I’m approaching my first big goal day, it’s 3 weeks away, I was hoping to be 60lbs down but I’m not even half way towards that. Yes it’s getting me down. I just want to be able to focus, get the weight off and be happy… it’s just going to take time. things go up and down all the time. I just need to break down this wall and move forward.

As the wise prophet Dory would say…

“Just Keep Swimming…”

EXCUSES…. you DON’T belong here anymore!!

Week 1 back on it and I’ll be honest it’s not been going well…

I feel like I’m just making excuses every day, we don’t have a proper functional kitchen yet as there’s still so much furniture to build and boxes to unpack and i’m working and can’t be bothered to cook and it’s take a ways and pizza and chip shop…

I’m missing friends, some more than others, i hate my job ( but have applied for other jobs) I bought a shirt today for my interview next week, it’s 1.5 sizes bigger than I normally wear as it’s 1, not stretchy and 2, I have BOOBS… the rest of the top looks like a tent 😦

There’s one person in particular I’m missing, so much so all I can think about is trying to find a way to go back and visit them. but it seems like a million miles away and I know there will come a day when they won’t want to talk to me anymore, which when you’re 180 miles away is completely understandable.

I feel like I’m dropping into a pit, a bit where I hate where I am, who I am and all I want to do is lay in bed, watch A Little Princess and completely stuff myself silly with chocolate. which is not going to help me one bit, my weight upsets me, i get upset i just want to stuff myself and we end up in this horrible vicious circle all over again.

I’m just making constant excuses for myself and the only reason my weight isn’t going up is because of the amount of activity I have been doing. although I’ve been dropped down to 16 hours, over 4 days (urgh…) the walk from home to the station and from the station to work has really boosted my steps…

IMG_20160520_221622

These are my Fitbit Steps from this week, Mon 16th – Fri 20th The 8,770 and the 9,295 days were my days off and the 9,440 was the day I got a lift to work but made my own way home. so honestly not too bad I think. I have work again tomorrow. So now it’s just about getting my thoughts together, my diet back on track cause hell I still want to look good and feel good.

                 STOP MAKING EXCUSES KAT!!!!!!!!!