Things don’t always turn out as expected…

Bonjourno and a VERY happy Heatwave to you…

So here we are 3 weeks since I decided to get back on plan.
I have lost 4lbs which doesn’t seem like a lot I know but for me it’s huge.
I lost 2lbs in week 1, 2lbs in week 2 and maintained in week 3.

Normally at this stage a maintain would crush me, but a maintain is better than a gain and it’s very much a case of looking at the positives.

So..

I am now 23st 8lbs and It’s coming down, slowly but I’m on my way…

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We’re All Battling Demons… My Demon is Cake…

Here we are long time no see…

I’ve been very up and down of the last few months, attempting to diet but there’s always something.

We all have reasons as to why we’re FAT Mine is I LIKE FOOD. It is literally that simple! The biggest problem with being such a fan of food is that when life starts getting me down, food is my comfort… Junk Food is the be all and end all when all I want to do is lay in bed and hide away from the world and whatever drama I have this time around.

So after being so up and down I finally weighed in… all the weight I lost at the start of the year has piled back on and then some… So I’m now weighing at my heaviest and I’m a grand total of 23st and 12lbs! (334lbs)Β 

I see this and it makes me want to cry… and this is what i now need to break through, I am down and depressed enough as it is, I don’t need my weight to jump on that too. Being fat is making me eat and making me fatter and this is the cycle I need to break and fast. I always start off well on diets and then I just get lazy and down and then I stop caring… A few years ago I weighed in at 305Lbs and I told myself then that that was going to be the heaviest i will EVER be… and now here I am 29lbs heavier and If i keep going this way I am just going to kill myself…
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So…

Time to move away from all the stresses in my life and focus on being healthy. This means avoiding the life and drama’s of my friends… this might sound bad but I have enough to deal with and their issues are affecting me and that isn’t fair, that’s making me fat!

I don’t want to be the fat girl, I want to be the fit, happy healthy curvy girl!!

So here we are at the bottom step (Again) ready to work my way back up.

It’s 2018 and here I am still Heartbroken and still FAT.

I am back… it’s been what? 6 months or so?

I have had a VERY hard time getting my life together after losing my dad, IΒ feel like I’m having a minor break down everyday.

But, I need to get healthy, my dad wouldn’t want me to spend my life eating my way into an early grave, he would like me to be happy and healthy.
So with that in mind I am dedicated to being the person I know I can be.
I have a target of 100lbs for the year, that’s just under 2lbs in a week.

This should be more than achievable, so far so good…. but we are just 4 weeks in.

wish me luck….

Summer didn’t last long….

Hey you lovely blog followers,
For those of you in the UK, you’ll agree the weather this week has been CRAZY! so hot and I was stuck in work for all of it (OMG… TOO HOT) we’re not used to heat like that here but it seems to have come to an end, just about.

I have a few things to update you with,

I haven’t been back to a meeting as I just don’t have the time to go, So i think i’m going to go back to online only WW ( it is cheaper after all)

secondly I’ve organised a night of dinner and drinks with a couple of my best friends from work, I’ve bought a new dress, in a size smaller than I was and it’s a tight fit dress, like on purpose… I doubt I will look as good as the model I saw it on but I’m happy with it πŸ™‚

lastly… I went shopping the other day and I saw something pretty that I really wanted but don’t do in my size (well that i’m used to) but determination face on..
I bought it in the largest size they do and with an aim to fit in it AND feel confident in it…
Drum Roll……
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*GULP*

Fingers crossed this plan goes well.

SO far so good…

Will update again soon πŸ™‚

Hello June…

June is here and we’ve had a revamp of the page.

New month, fresh eyes and planning on sharing more, getting my thoughts etc out there to help with my mental health which hopefully has an effect on my physical health πŸ™‚

I now have a domain for my blog… welcome to fattofit789.com πŸ™‚ Β It’s great to have you here.

Now one thing I have added is a countdown.
This is for my milestones, My next one is my 28th Birthday and we are 48 days away.
In that time I am setting myself a goal…

Lose 20lbs!

I know this is a big ask, I can only really base it on my home scales as I still haven’t made it to WeightWatchers meeting yet and the next one will be next Friday *gulp*

So I am hoping worst case to be about 290lbs for my Birthday. (this is 13lbs less than I was at last WW meeting) so I have given myself around a 7lbs buffer. I don’t think I am now 7lbs more than i was in my last meeting but can never be too sure.

feeling much better counting my food again too πŸ™‚

Bring it on πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Health and Wellbeing… What Happened??

This post is a hard one to write.

I have been in such an awful place since September. Having a seizure and ending up in hospital and temporarily losing my ability to speak has really affected me.

I have suffered with depression for some time, About 14 years or so. But these last 6 months have been awful. I hate who I am and what happens to me, The more stressed or upset I get the more my brain seems to shut down on me and it’s the scariest thing I have ever been through. A Neurologist believes I am now suffering with Migraines as a result of the seizure and I’m finally now on Beta Blockers. I had a Blood Test in January, the message I got back said that the test was ‘fine’ but Thursday on my way to work I collapsed. I went dizzy and I was gone. The first time this has happened, I was on my own and I was scared. so No work and off to the Doctor’s. The Doctor informed me my Folic Acid levels are low which he established from the test in January.

The main reason for everything I have been doing this last year is not to be skinny but to be healthy and I feel like my body and my mind is giving up on me. I’m scared and Don’t know what to do. I’m trying to eat right but I’ve taken a step back from the gym as I’m so scared to be there and for something to happen and I get hurt or worse hurt someone else.

Part of me thinks that the Doctor’s aren’t taking me seriously but I can only go by their professional opinions on what is wrong with me. Everything is linked to the seizure and I’ve always been good with words and thoughts and now I’m Β not… I’m not me.

All I want to do is cry and no one knows…
How can I tell people that I want to cry because my mind feels broken? There are people going through worse, this could be temporary…. but it might not be.

What can I do??

This is not an April Fool…

So here I am updating my blog for the first time in over 2 months (as it was pointed out to me… sorry 😦 )

So what’s been happening? I’ve been working long days and experiencing some issues that I believed were resulted in my hospital stay in September.

I’ve been going to WW meetings, actually being weighed by other people is scary, but I’m going, and still going, I had a few slip ups and I think that was stress, so in all I’ve lost 3lbs in the last 6 weeks, Β I know it isn’t much but it’s something.

I saw my neurologist on Wednesday who thinks I’m suffering migraines which is causing all the issues i’m having so, i’m being put on medication for that. I’m so relieved. I can finally put my mind at rest.

So… This is just a quick update to say I am still here and still working on things.

And to celebrate spring… “Bikini body here I come” hahaha

πŸ™‚