July and Hello Summer

Hello Summer,
At least there is one thing as of late the weather has been beautiful!

Getting back into the habit of going to the gym, as and when I can.

I have stopped my meetings at WW (in an attempt to save some monies) but I am continuing online only. This means my scales have changed back to the ones I had at home and as I put on weight…

I am 317lbs! that is 22st 9lbs…
Slowly going back up to where I started in Feb last year and I really don’t have an excuse for it. Depression and crap and just generally not looking after myself.

I’ve emptied my wardrobe of everything that doesn’t fit me, too big and it’s off to the charity shop, too small and it’s gone into a bag under my bed, out of sight, out of mind. (or so they say) the idea is if the there is next to nothing in my wardrobe and I cannot afford to buy new clothes then I need to look after myself.
And by that I also mean make myself accountable for everything that I do.

I will now be updating this site at least twice a week as I need to keep on top of things which means saying no when the girls at work suggest a McDonald’s Breakfast Wrap in the mornings (omg they taste so good!!!) No more trips to McDonald’s around the corner from house either…

Time to make myself accountable!

Summer didn’t last long….

Hey you lovely blog followers,
For those of you in the UK, you’ll agree the weather this week has been CRAZY! so hot and I was stuck in work for all of it (OMG… TOO HOT) we’re not used to heat like that here but it seems to have come to an end, just about.

I have a few things to update you with,

I haven’t been back to a meeting as I just don’t have the time to go, So i think i’m going to go back to online only WW ( it is cheaper after all)

secondly I’ve organised a night of dinner and drinks with a couple of my best friends from work, I’ve bought a new dress, in a size smaller than I was and it’s a tight fit dress, like on purpose… I doubt I will look as good as the model I saw it on but I’m happy with it 🙂

lastly… I went shopping the other day and I saw something pretty that I really wanted but don’t do in my size (well that i’m used to) but determination face on..
I bought it in the largest size they do and with an aim to fit in it AND feel confident in it…
Drum Roll……
Snapchat-442471818
*GULP*

Fingers crossed this plan goes well.

SO far so good…

Will update again soon 🙂

Health and Wellbeing… What Happened??

This post is a hard one to write.

I have been in such an awful place since September. Having a seizure and ending up in hospital and temporarily losing my ability to speak has really affected me.

I have suffered with depression for some time, About 14 years or so. But these last 6 months have been awful. I hate who I am and what happens to me, The more stressed or upset I get the more my brain seems to shut down on me and it’s the scariest thing I have ever been through. A Neurologist believes I am now suffering with Migraines as a result of the seizure and I’m finally now on Beta Blockers. I had a Blood Test in January, the message I got back said that the test was ‘fine’ but Thursday on my way to work I collapsed. I went dizzy and I was gone. The first time this has happened, I was on my own and I was scared. so No work and off to the Doctor’s. The Doctor informed me my Folic Acid levels are low which he established from the test in January.

The main reason for everything I have been doing this last year is not to be skinny but to be healthy and I feel like my body and my mind is giving up on me. I’m scared and Don’t know what to do. I’m trying to eat right but I’ve taken a step back from the gym as I’m so scared to be there and for something to happen and I get hurt or worse hurt someone else.

Part of me thinks that the Doctor’s aren’t taking me seriously but I can only go by their professional opinions on what is wrong with me. Everything is linked to the seizure and I’ve always been good with words and thoughts and now I’m  not… I’m not me.

All I want to do is cry and no one knows…
How can I tell people that I want to cry because my mind feels broken? There are people going through worse, this could be temporary…. but it might not be.

What can I do??

This is not an April Fool…

So here I am updating my blog for the first time in over 2 months (as it was pointed out to me… sorry 😦 )

So what’s been happening? I’ve been working long days and experiencing some issues that I believed were resulted in my hospital stay in September.

I’ve been going to WW meetings, actually being weighed by other people is scary, but I’m going, and still going, I had a few slip ups and I think that was stress, so in all I’ve lost 3lbs in the last 6 weeks,  I know it isn’t much but it’s something.

I saw my neurologist on Wednesday who thinks I’m suffering migraines which is causing all the issues i’m having so, i’m being put on medication for that. I’m so relieved. I can finally put my mind at rest.

So… This is just a quick update to say I am still here and still working on things.

And to celebrate spring… “Bikini body here I come” hahaha

🙂

Weigh in Day…

So today was the first weigh in day since Christmas

On Christmas Day I weighed 311 Lbs

Today I weigh 307.5Lbs

I have lost 3.5lbs!!!!!!

Super happy with this as a result! 3.5lbs puts me on target for my Beginning of March Challenge…
At the start of March I am going to see my friend (the one I have mentioned on here like all the time, my personal weight loss motivator… :p ) we are going to have a day of Brownies and movies… cause why not? 🙂 but If I do not lose more than 20lbs (so 21lbs or more) which is a goal of 290 by then… I’m not allowed Brownies 😦 lol.
BUT my friend has set me another challenge to lose 5 more lbs… making a goal of:

285!!!!

I don’t know what the small incentive to brownies is going to be yet… but I do love a challenge!!!

And the weight loss challenge with my sister… I won the first weigh in 🙂

This week is a success…

Let’s keep this up!

Welcome 2017!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 

Here we are a new year, ready for a new start.

2016 ended in a much better way than any previous year I had been on a diet… so I ended 2016 21lbs lighter than I started it. This for me is a win as I usually start the next year having put on weight.

Now the end of the year didn’t go as planned but now here I am ready to absolutely kick ass!!

I’m back at the gym, I’m smashing my 11,000 steps a day goal.
I have realised my days off I just want to sit around doing nothing, this will have to change… so lots of getting off my bum on days off…

2017 is what I can make of it…

Food
Exercise
Enviroment

I’m getting there Slowly…

Slowly but surely I am getting there, I have lost 5lbs since coming out of hospital, it isn’t a lot but it’s coming down and that’s the main thing.

Being out of work is causing me far more stress and has made me far more depressed that I thought it would. I’ve cancelled my gym membership as I can no longer afford it but I have been trying to get out and run and as it gets colder the want and need to stay inside in the warm is ever increasing. but I keep trying, and the craving for chocolate has started to dwindle, Diet back on track, Exercise back on track and I’ll get there.

I’m not giving up. I refuse to give up. I’ve come too far to give up now.

wouldn’t say no to having someone nag me right now…

BUT I am getting there… Slowly….