weight loss

It’s a Picture Special! oh dear…

Okay, so when I was looking through all my pics the other day on here and the huge difference in my size has been a real shock…

I mean when I first started this journey cause I was really overweight and now it’s worse…

Lets have a stroll down memory lane..

This was the first picture I shared… first of all PLEASE do not look at that haircut! (cringe) So the left is 5.5 years ago and the right is just over 6 years…picFrame (3)
There isn’t much between the 2 and I still have the dress on the left (it’s a size 22) that’s 2 dress sizes I have gone up in the last 5.5 years…

Next up:

This time we have the picture that gave me a kick back up the backside to try and do something about my weight, it was me as Harley at Comic Con in Birmingham 2015, The picture on the right (in my stunning QPR shirt which is now WAY too tight on me) was taken the following July, this was after I moved to Wales.
MyCollageI know I did lose weight in this time, it wasn’t much but you could see it. After then I started a new job, my life crumbled apart and I’m sad to say I lost my way a few times and eventually this is where I am now…

This is me… MAY 2019

 

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What an absolute mess! I thought it was bad before… It really wasn’t…
what i would do now to be a size 22… a size 20…

I just need to keep at it this time…. Wish me luck!

Weight-loss-inspiration-quote

weight loss

A Roller Coaster of 3.5 years.

I’m not sure why but tonight I decided to go back to January 2016. This is when I deleted everything from before and started a fresh.

I was 329lbs then …. that’s 23st 7lbs.
I am now 348lbs24st 12lbs

That’s plus 19lbs in 3.5 years (42 months)

When I look at it that way, things don’t seem so bad. I know I have dropped weight and piled it back on again, multiple times over the years but thinking since my WW journey began 3.5 years ago I am now ONLY 19lbs heavier, That makes me feel like this is doable, That I can move on and be the person I am meant to be, I can be healthier, Yes up to now, this hasn’t worked but it’s about finding my fit.

There are some pictures which I’ll add over the next week too…

weight loss

Hi, It’s Me… Again

Seriously how many times am I going to be ‘BACK’?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Welcome to 2019! I hope this year treats you all well and gives you all the joy and happiness you deserve and that your goals are reached!

So last year I was very stressed about my weight and anyone who reads this or my Instagram will see that it’s been VERY up and down.

So I am no longer thinking about my long term goal. We are all about the short term.
My new short term Goal date is NYE 2019.

NYE 2018 STARTING WEIGHT IS…

*drumroll*

23st and 8 lbs (330lbs)

NYE 2019 TARGET WEIGHT IS…

19st (266lbs)

TOTAL TO TARGET

4st 8lbs (64lbs)

 

You guys know the drill by now… Blah Blah I’ll be back to updating weekly Blah Blah…

Yeah we all know that I will generally NOT be doing that… but all I can say is I will try.
I have a new Scrapbook to keep my journey alive, the only difference is this is be done monthly so I can see January in one place and then Feb and so on…

So wish me luck I am going to need it…

weight loss

We’re All Battling Demons… My Demon is Cake…

Here we are long time no see…

I’ve been very up and down of the last few months, attempting to diet but there’s always something.

We all have reasons as to why we’re FAT Mine is I LIKE FOOD. It is literally that simple! The biggest problem with being such a fan of food is that when life starts getting me down, food is my comfort… Junk Food is the be all and end all when all I want to do is lay in bed and hide away from the world and whatever drama I have this time around.

So after being so up and down I finally weighed in… all the weight I lost at the start of the year has piled back on and then some… So I’m now weighing at my heaviest and I’m a grand total of 23st and 12lbs! (334lbs) 

I see this and it makes me want to cry… and this is what i now need to break through, I am down and depressed enough as it is, I don’t need my weight to jump on that too. Being fat is making me eat and making me fatter and this is the cycle I need to break and fast. I always start off well on diets and then I just get lazy and down and then I stop caring… A few years ago I weighed in at 305Lbs and I told myself then that that was going to be the heaviest i will EVER be… and now here I am 29lbs heavier and If i keep going this way I am just going to kill myself…
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So…

Time to move away from all the stresses in my life and focus on being healthy. This means avoiding the life and drama’s of my friends… this might sound bad but I have enough to deal with and their issues are affecting me and that isn’t fair, that’s making me fat!

I don’t want to be the fat girl, I want to be the fit, happy healthy curvy girl!!

So here we are at the bottom step (Again) ready to work my way back up.

mental health, weight loss

Health and Wellbeing… What Happened??

This post is a hard one to write.

I have been in such an awful place since September. Having a seizure and ending up in hospital and temporarily losing my ability to speak has really affected me.

I have suffered with depression for some time, About 14 years or so. But these last 6 months have been awful. I hate who I am and what happens to me, The more stressed or upset I get the more my brain seems to shut down on me and it’s the scariest thing I have ever been through. A Neurologist believes I am now suffering with Migraines as a result of the seizure and I’m finally now on Beta Blockers. I had a Blood Test in January, the message I got back said that the test was ‘fine’ but Thursday on my way to work I collapsed. I went dizzy and I was gone. The first time this has happened, I was on my own and I was scared. so No work and off to the Doctor’s. The Doctor informed me my Folic Acid levels are low which he established from the test in January.

The main reason for everything I have been doing this last year is not to be skinny but to be healthy and I feel like my body and my mind is giving up on me. I’m scared and Don’t know what to do. I’m trying to eat right but I’ve taken a step back from the gym as I’m so scared to be there and for something to happen and I get hurt or worse hurt someone else.

Part of me thinks that the Doctor’s aren’t taking me seriously but I can only go by their professional opinions on what is wrong with me. Everything is linked to the seizure and I’ve always been good with words and thoughts and now I’m  not… I’m not me.

All I want to do is cry and no one knows…
How can I tell people that I want to cry because my mind feels broken? There are people going through worse, this could be temporary…. but it might not be.

What can I do??

weight loss

Not the week I wanted but a good result…

I lost 4Lbs!!!

not the 14 I was aiming for but I was ill for a couple days, got sent home from work and well dropping out of routine does make things worse. but I lost the 2.5 i put on and then lost a lil more.

Not too shabby 🙂

Total loss of 5Lbs so far… but i start meetings Friday 3rd Feb.

I’ve set a new goal, 10Lbs to lose in 2 weeks – before Sunday 5th Feb. those 10lbs will mean I have lost 10% of weight in 1 whole year.

Which isn’t too bad after the rubbish back and forth I had from July til now.

wish me luck… couple more weeks til a picture comparison… *gulp*

weight loss

Weigh in Day…

So today was the first weigh in day since Christmas

On Christmas Day I weighed 311 Lbs

Today I weigh 307.5Lbs

I have lost 3.5lbs!!!!!!

Super happy with this as a result! 3.5lbs puts me on target for my Beginning of March Challenge…
At the start of March I am going to see my friend (the one I have mentioned on here like all the time, my personal weight loss motivator… :p ) we are going to have a day of Brownies and movies… cause why not? 🙂 but If I do not lose more than 20lbs (so 21lbs or more) which is a goal of 290 by then… I’m not allowed Brownies 😦 lol.
BUT my friend has set me another challenge to lose 5 more lbs… making a goal of:

285!!!!

I don’t know what the small incentive to brownies is going to be yet… but I do love a challenge!!!

And the weight loss challenge with my sister… I won the first weigh in 🙂

This week is a success…

Let’s keep this up!

weight loss

I’m getting there Slowly…

Slowly but surely I am getting there, I have lost 5lbs since coming out of hospital, it isn’t a lot but it’s coming down and that’s the main thing.

Being out of work is causing me far more stress and has made me far more depressed that I thought it would. I’ve cancelled my gym membership as I can no longer afford it but I have been trying to get out and run and as it gets colder the want and need to stay inside in the warm is ever increasing. but I keep trying, and the craving for chocolate has started to dwindle, Diet back on track, Exercise back on track and I’ll get there.

I’m not giving up. I refuse to give up. I’ve come too far to give up now.

wouldn’t say no to having someone nag me right now…

BUT I am getting there… Slowly….

weight loss

No stats week…

I’ve decided not to add my Fitbit stats this week, mainly because they are AWFUL! I had a really bad week, mostly due to the weather. When you have to walk everywhere you hate turning up to places soaked, so lack of gym, lifts to or from work has made hitting my goal harder. So this week is a fresh, it’s not been the best of starts but I think I have averaged out some stuff plus Saturday I’m travelling back to the homeland *YAY*

I do have some news to share, I was at work the other day and someone who had been on holiday for a week came back and she looked at me and said those wonderful words all of us on this journey get so excited to hear…

“wow, have you lost weight?”

I ended up grinning from ear to ear and I loved it!! A long with all you lovely people that can see a difference in my pictures, it’s a proper boost builder and lets me know that just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

If I get a chance I shall update on Saturday after weigh in (which I’m not expecting to be great this week after Family meals most of the week) otherwise It’ll be a very long update in about 11 days 🙂

Have a lovely Friday ❤

weight loss

I went to the Gym, why am I not skinny yet??

CRISIS!

I’m struggling to get to the gym, I hate my job and it’s all crashing around me, still waiting for a start date on my new job and that’s kinda getting me down. All I want to do is shove my face inn a massive bowl of chocolate and only resurface for air…

BUT I WON’T!

I’ve come too far to go back now. I keep telling myself;

If Losing Weight Was Easy, Everybody Would Do It. 

I don’t want to give up, I want to keep going. I enjoy what is happening to my body and I want to be fit and healthy. Some days it feels as though it doesn’t matter what I do, it isn’t enough. I’ve lost 2 stone, which is incredible (especially for me) but There is still another 10 stone to go…

It will not happen over night, but I need something now, a new dress size, a nice comment… just something!